It is no secret that many marriages end as a result of infidelity. About 41 percent of married people admit to having either a physical or emotional affair. Even more surprising, 57 percent of men and 54 percent of women admit to cheating at some point in their life. When an affair is one of the factors which ends a marriage, it may affect your divorce, but not in the way you might think.

Illinois is a No-Fault Divorce State

Illinois has been “pure no-fault state” since the start of 2016. This means that the state does not require divorcing couples to state their specific reasons or “grounds” for ending the marriage through divorce. Before the 2016 change, grounds like adultery or repeated mental or physical cruelty could be used as the cause of the divorce. Today, those seeking a divorce in Illinois only have one ground for filing for divorce: “irreconcilable differences.” According to the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act, a judgment of divorce will be issued only if “irreconcilable differences have caused the irretrievable breakdown of the marriage and the court determines that efforts at reconciliation have failed or that future attempts at reconciliation would be impracticable and not in the best interests of the family.” For most couples, infidelity will not affect their divorce in any meaningful way.

Today, social media is quite literally everywhere. Television commercials, movie trailers, product labels, and even roadside billboards list Facebook pages, Twitter handles, and Instagram accounts for people, brands, and companies. Of course, this is simply a reflection of the culture itself, as most of us know at least a few people who are quick to share virtually any experience to their social media feeds. When a person is going through a divorce, however, social media can present some unexpected dangers. If you are a regular user of social media networks, there are some things you should keep in mind during the divorce process.

Image Matters

Social media sites are appealing because they allow users to create sort of an alternate version of themselves. For example, a person’s Instagram account is likely to show photos of the user looking his or her best or celebrating an accomplishment. Rarely does someone post embarrassing stories or unflattering images. While most of us expect there to be some disconnect between a person’s social media persona and real life, the distinction can be especially problematic during a divorce. The biggest problem is the absence of context.

Often times, when a married couple splits they go on to meet new people and might even get remarried eventually. Getting a divorce does not mean that a person is destined to be alone or should never date again. However, dating during or after a divorce can be tricky. If your divorce is not finalized and you meet a new romantic interest, when should you introduce him or her to your children? The answer to questions like these are not always absolute, but experts do have advice for those who have met someone new in the midst of a divorce.

Dating During Divorce Can Affect Court Decisions

There are a few instances when a person might still be technically married but has a new romantic partner. Some marriages are over long before they are legally dissolved, and the spouses may physically separate while the divorce process continues. However, when a divorce is in progress, dating during this time can indirectly affect some decisions made by the court. For example, if your new partner has a criminal record or has been accused of child abuse, the court may limit or place stipulations on your parenting time. Depending the specific circumstances, a judge presiding over a divorce has the authority to take new romantic partners into consideration when making decisions about child custody, spousal support (alimony), and parenting time/visitation.

Sometimes, when divorce is imminent, one spouse may attempt to serve the papers on the other only to find that he or she cannot be found. This can present a problem, as Illinois law requires that a spouse at least make a good faith effort to serve the other before a divorce proceeding can continue, Ultimately, a divorce may proceed even if your spouse is unreachable, but it can cause problems in terms of child support and other legalities further down the road.

Alternate Means of Service

If your spouse cannot be located by conventional means, Illinois law permits what is referred to as service by publication. Service by publication occurs when a person places a notice in a newspaper or other publication in the county where the couple last lived or where the action is taking place for a period of at least three consecutive weeks. If the defendant fails to respond, it is assumed that they are either unable or unwilling to do so. Upon such a finding by court, the case may go forward.

Almost everyone has seen a dramatic divorce played out in movies or television. One that comes to mind is the scene from the movie Liar Liar when a vindictive mother seeks full custody of her children even after admitting that her husband is a wonderful father. Although movies are usually unrealistic, divorce proceeding can become very ugly somtimes. There are so many memories and emotions that a person goes into a divorce with, it can be difficult to be pragmatic. While there is no way have a completely conflict-free divorce, there are a few things you can do to make the divorce process go more smoothly.

Admit That the Marriage Is Over

Humans are not robots who can suddenly turn off the romantic feelings they once had for a spouse. Many individuals who file for divorce still have residual questions, “what ifs?”, and regrets about the marriage. They may still long for the apology they never got or wish for their spouse to admit to a previous transgression. In order to stay sane during a divorce, you may need to let some of these lingering feelings and desires go. If the marriage is truly over, there is no sense in dredging up the past. The focus now should be on dissolving the marriage in a fair and reasonable way. If you have children together, the focus should be to restructure the romantic relationship you had with your spouse into an effective co-parenting dynamic.