The idea of a lawsuit culminating in a trial is heavily ingrained is a common motif, especially in pop culture. If a television show or a movie involves a lawsuit, then the climax probably happens in a courtroom with a lawyer giving an impassioned speech to a judge or jury. However, in real life the trial is the exception.

According to a Northwestern law professor, only two percent of civil cases go to trial. Most cases end in a settlement between the two parties. This is because trials are not the ideal way to solve disputes. They are long, expensive processes, which is as true in the divorce context as it is in any other. Consequently, many parties attempt to engage in a four-way settlement conference to come to an agreement themselves rather than allowing courts to decide.

What is a Four-Way Conference? 

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The emotionally charged nature of divorces can lead to a lot of bad blood welling up between the soon to be ex-spouses. If this happens then it can lead to one of the spouses becoming intractable and difficult with whom to negotiate. This can be especially difficult in a world where divorce mediation is becoming common, as more and more people begin to recognize the benefits of cooperating with their partner to divide up the assets. Fortunately, there are strategies available to help a person cope with an uncooperative spouse, and still move forward with negotiations.

Accept Their Point of View

People going through divorce, particularly those with uncooperative spouses, often find that their spouse’s view of the relationship varies wildly from their own. The spouses may view their own contributions to the marriage in a more favorable light, while simultaneously devaluing the other’s contributions.

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After finalizing a divorce, many women who have taken their husband’s last name face the decision of whether they would like to change it back to their maiden name. Some women view this as another step in moving past their divorce, as it allows them to receive closure by shedding their husband’s name.

Other women develop more of an emotional attachment to the name. They may have had it for decades at this point, so they view it as their own, separate from any association it has with their ex-husband. The presence of children from the marriage can further complicate the question.

Divorces are an emotionally trying experience for children because the process can destabilize the kids’ lives. In some cases, a parental name change can exacerbate those issues. Fortunately, this decision does not need to be made immediately following the divorce, so people have time to weigh their options.

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With the rising incidence of gray divorce, the question of how divorce proceedings affect a person’s Social Security income is becoming more pressing. Many people wonder whether the courts will divide up Social Security benefits the way they divide up other retirement accounts.

In the alternative, people often ask about whether they can benefit from their ex-spouse’s work history record. This can be an especially important issue in cases where one spouse stopped working to take care of the home, while the other continued paying into Social Security.

Division of Social Security

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Although many marriage ceremonies include a vow to stay together in sickness and in health, new research reveals that serious illnesses can cause an increase in divorce rates among older couples.

A study from scientists at the Indiana University-Purdue University Indianapolis and the University of Michigan’s Institutes for Social Research reveals that not only can a major spousal illness lead to an increased risk of divorce, but that the risk is considerably more pronounced in cases where the wife is the partner who has the disease.

The Study’s Findings

The study involved 2,700 married couples that had at least one spouse over the age of 50 at the start of the research. The authors tracked these couples for almost 20 years, starting in 1992 and ending in 2010. They recorded data about the couples’ relationships, including their marital status.

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