Sometimes life simply does not work out as we plan. This can include marriage, but also the divorce agreement that is put in place at the end of the divorce process. Over time, some of our life situations change, which necessitates the need for divorce modification. If you and your ex-spouse agree on the necessary adjustments, the process is relatively stress-free. If you do not see eye-to-eye, it becomes more complicated.

Timing is Everything

If you need to modify the property division terms, you must do so before the period for appeal expires. According to Illinois law, you have 30 days after the filing of the final divorce agreement to file a motion, after which, only specific topics qualify for amendment. The topics eligible for modification include parenting time, child support, and spousal maintenance.

Burden of Proof

To alter your standing agreement, you must have sufficient evidence supporting the claim that a modification is necessary. A divorce decree can only be modified if there is proof of a significant change in one or both parties’ circumstances. What constitutes substantial change is different for every case and is based on the sole discretion of the court. Conditions which may warrant an adjustment include a change in employment, change in marital status, serious health problems, and relocation.

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Divorce is one of the hardest decisions anyone can make. Unfortunately, the adjustments do not end as soon as the divorce agreement is finalized. Eventually, life does move forward, and both parties will begin new relationships that may result in marriage.

When children are involved, starting a new relationship means inviting someone else into their lives, something that should not be taken lightly. Here are some tips to help you co-parent with your ex-spouse’s new significant other:

Keep Your Feelings in Check

Effective co-parenting is essential for the well-being of your child. Although it is natural to experience moments of jealousy, anger, sadness, or regret, it is essential not to allow that to interfere with the task at hand: effective co-parenting. If you recognize these emotions within yourself, use your support system to work through them. Take this time to lean on your friends, family, or a therapist so when it comes time to interact with your ex’s new partner, you can maintain a cool, calm, and collected demeanor.

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[caption id="attachment_2188" align="alignright" width="300"] Wheaton, IL Divorce Lawyer[/caption]

The divorce process differs depending on if there is a history of child abuse or spousal abuse within the home. These allegations and charges, regardless of their outcome, play a pivotal role in child custody and visitation and spousal support determinations.

If you or your children are in danger of abuse, the most important thing is to get out of harm’s way. If you believe divorce is the right option for you, here is how abuse may affect your proceedings:

Parental Responsibilities

Illinois centers its child custody laws around the idea of what is “in the best interest of the children.” If you are in an abusive relationship and the physical or mental well-being of the child is in danger, it is critical you remove yourself and your children from the situation.

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There is no doubt military life is very different than the civilian world. Between training schedules, deployments, and frequent relocations, being in the military is not for everyone. On top of all of the pressures our servicemembers and their families face, the military community also deals with a high divorce rate. Members of the military often change over time due to the constant demands, and family members also evolve with the situation. It is not uncommon that after a few years, a couple realizes neither of them is the same person and they are no longer compatible.

If this situation resonates with you, first, know that you are not alone. Here is a look at the differences you face in a military divorce.

The Uniformed Services Former Spouses’ Protection Act

This act urges the military to accept Illinois state statutes for issues such as child support, spousal maintenance, and military retirement plans. Therefore, Illinois has the right to award retirement pay to a spouse or a soon-to-be former spouse. Although it is not guaranteed, the retirement pay can be distributed as either a fixed dollar amount or a percentage of disposable retired pay. To qualify, spouses must meet the qualifications of the “10/10 Rule,” which states the marriage must have lasted at least 10 years, and the service member must have served at least 10 years of the marriage performing eligible military duties.

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Divorce is a stressful process no matter what method you choose. While spouses are busy dividing their union into two separate lives, researchers recommend they do their best to make sure any children they share stay atop the priorities list. Although children may say they are fine with the situation, the process is always emotional and confusing. The final result may be a new living arrangement and lifestyle. They will likely miss at least one parent every day, and possibly lose friends at school due to a relocation.

Parents looking for an alternative to divorce litigation will find divorce mediation offers an opportunity to both protect and prioritize their children. Divorce mediation benefits include:

Parents Lead by Example

There are no benefits derived from a child witnessing their parents argue. Although spouses can terminate their marriage, they will always be parents. Divorce mediation avoids the emotional courtroom arguments by allowing both parties to come together and discuss their options civilly. If emotions begin to escalate, they can walk away and revisit the matter once tensions have subsided. Mediation is an excellent chance to teach children a valuable lesson, that no matter what hard feelings may exist, you can put them aside and compromise for the betterment of everyone involved.

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