One of the most challenging aspects of being a divorced or unmarried parent is the idea of sharing parental duties with your former partner. Each person often has an idea of how a should be raised, and these ideas may vary—even when both parents are reasonable and have good intentions. Conflicting parenting ideas can lead to confusion and uncertainty on the part of the child, so it is important for parents to cooperate in creating a parenting plan that lays out each parent’s role in regard to making significant decisions that affect the child.

Defining Significant Decisions

According to the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act (IMDMA), significant decisions include those related to “issues of long-term importance in the life of the child.” The IMDMA offers several examples of concerns that are considered to be significant decisions, including:

If you currently share custody of children with an ex or are planning to get divorced as a parent, you probably have many questions. Some parents wonder what will happen if they need to move out of state while in a shared custody scenario. Perhaps a job opportunity or new significant other necessitates the move, or maybe the parent wants to be near extended family. Whatever the reason, moving out of state as a parent sharing custody is possible, but there are a few things you should keep in mind.

You Will Need Approval from the Illinois Court System

The Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act specifies the procedure for when a parent wishes to move out of state. Before a parent in a shared custody scenario can relocate a child from Illinois to a new state, he or she must seek court approval. The primary custodial parent is the parent with more parenting time. Many people incorrectly assume that a primary custodian has the authority to move a child at will, but this is not the case. Both the primary guardian of the child as well as the other parent sharing custody are subject to this requirement. The court is tasked with hearing the reasons a parent wants to move as well as determining if relocating the child is in his or her best interest. The burden of proving that the move is in the child’s best interest lies with the parent requesting the relocation.

When parents cannot agree on how to divide parental responsibilities, including decision-making authority and parenting time, the court is forced to make decisions for them. In doing so, the court will hear arguments and proposals from both parents, but with the understanding that it is nearly impossible for most parents to objectively consider the best interests of their children. Sometimes, the court may even suspect that it is not getting the full story from one or both parents. When this is the case, Illinois law allows a judge to appoint an independent attorney to serve as guardian ad litem (GAL) for the duration of the proceedings.

What Is a GAL?

A guardian ad litem is a licensed attorney who meets certain experience requirements and who has undergone select training related to resolving family law disputes. Each county maintains a list of qualified GALs who may be appointed in a given case. Either party in the case may ask for a GAL to be appointed or the court may make the appointment on its own.

In just a matter of weeks, children throughout Northern Illinois will be done with school for the summertime. If you have children, you have probably seen signs of excitement. They may be ready to sleep in later than usual and to spend time outdoors with friends. You, the parent, may be eager for summer to arrive as well, but if you are divorced, the extended break may bring a few additional concerns. If you are currently subject to any type of shared parenting arrangement or custody order, it is time to begin making plans for the summer months ahead.

Know What Your Plan Says

The most important thing you need to do before summer break arrives is to review your existing parenting arrangements so that you are refreshed on your rights and responsibilities. Your parenting plan likely contains at least a bare-bones parenting time schedule. In some cases, the schedule may actually be quite detailed.

Sometimes a couple with children divorces and they continue interacting almost as if the divorce never happened. They still chat about their lives together when picking up or dropping off the children and can easily communicate about changes in parenting time schedules or concerns regarding the children.

Other couples are much more antagonistic toward each other during and after a divorce. They struggle to communicate at all without fighting and are not willing to cooperate with each other. This often happens when a marriage ends due to adultery or another significant breach of trust. Mental health issues like narcissistic personality disorder can also make it nearly impossible for parents to communicate effectively. In circumstances like these, a method of shared parenting called parallel parenting may be the best option for raising happy, successful children.

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